Bewitched by Aldi

I try not to shop at Aldi more than four times a year. The reason is, like that “bad boy” I knew in high school, it’s not good for me. But, also like that “bad boy” I knew in high school, eventually I give in.

Something happens to me when I walk into Aldi, I completely lose my mind. From the moment I step through those sliding doors, they have me, and they know they have me. I swear I could hear the checkout clerks snicker. The first thing I saw was a mountain of bags of popped popcorn, both plain and buttery. Now, I have my own popcorn that I can pop, but, leaning in for closer examination, I heard one of the buttery bags whisper to me, “Wouldn’t I be wonderful with that episode of ‘Vera’ that you’ve been saving to watch since Sunday night?” I whispered back, “You would!” And, really, who has time to spend those 3.5 minutes in front of the microwave anyway? And so it began.

From there I saw the wines. I’m not much of a wine drinker, but the prices are unbeatable, so a couple of bottles went into my cart. Then came the cereal with its beckoning boxes. I don’t eat cereal, but something about seeing that stack of Cinnamon Frosted Flakes (Cinnamon!) touched my inner child. Suddenly I was transported back to my parents' kitchen, perched on top of the Sears catalog (before the days of booster seats), swinging my legs while diving into a luscious bowl of cereal centered on a Flintstone placemat on their Formica-topped table with the metal legs. I had to have them! And, I said to myself, this is undoubtedly a seasonal item, so I should probably buy two. I did.

My main reason for going to Aldi was pick up some butter and various other dairy products that are always considerably lower priced than other area markets. So three pounds of butter, two cartons of half-and-half (a dollar cheaper than local markets), sour cream, cottage cheese, and ricotta were added to the heap.

Next came produce. I told myself that I was only going to buy cilantro and red onions, because that was all that I needed, but seeing those beautiful heads of cauliflower for only $1.99 each, as well as the majestic crowns of broccoli, green beans, tomatoes, well, you get the picture. I was running out of room in my cart.

I circled around to the specialty cheeses and saw that, for the most part, they were half off. I’m talking Applewood Smoked Gruyere, Smoked Gouda, Truffle Cheddar, Champagne Cheddar, the works! I swept my arm through the dairy case, and in that one swoop, toppled the majority of it into my cart.

A crowd had gathered around a freezer bin with a sign above that read “Specialty Buys,” so I had to look to see the attraction. There was nothing I needed. There was nothing I wanted. But somehow the beer-breaded jalapeño bites called my name. Do I like spicy foods? Not really. Do I eat a lot of jalapeños? Not a lot. Did I buy some? Of course!

By the time I got to the bread rack to buy what I think is the absolute best loaf of Italian bread available in any market (and some bakeries as well) to get the Pane Turano -- one of the few things that was actually on my list of five items -- I decided that I was not going to come back to Aldi in a long while, and knowing this loaf freezes beautifully, I took three.

As I approached the checkout, I had a cart that would do the mother of five boys proud. I couldn’t believe it. I had only carried three plastic bags into the store with me, certain that I would only use two, but wanted an extra just in case. I think the best thing I could’ve done with those bags was to put them over my head.

I won't even describe the damage I did in the freezer section. I will only say that before I left home, my freezer drawer slid in and out easily, and now I have to throw my body against it to get it to close. Did I mention that the buttery bag of popcorn rode home in the front seat with me? Probably best not to.

Yet again, bewitched by Aldi. Sigh.

Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with Aldi, and am not being compensated in any way. I just LOVE their stores!