When Spring Cleaning Goes Full Dick Van Dyke

 

If you were ever a fan of the old Dick van Dyke Show, you'll undoubtedly remember the episode where Laura, dying of curiosity, opens a mysterious package belonging to Rob, only to discover it's an inflatable boat. The visual of that thing exploding across the room, combined with Mary Tyler Moore's exquisite humiliation, is comedy gold.

 

Welp, last week I lived my own Laura Petrie moment. I’ve never been what you’d call a meticulous housekeeper, but this spring something in me snapped. I’ve been on a cleaning tear: shoving furniture around, second-guessing its placement, shoving it back again, scrubbing walls, baseboards, floors—you name it. In a fit of fresh-start zeal, I decided everything on the bed had to be washed. King-size duvet? Done. Regular pillows? Fluffed and fresh. Even the decorative ones got the treatment.

 

 Feeling bold, I moved on to the three big European square pillows that line the back of my bed. I’ve washed king comforters in my large washer plenty of times, so I figured one pillow at a time would be no problem. The care tag said something about “commercial machines,” but… details.

 

I popped the first pillow into the washer on the bulky setting with warm water and let ‘er rip. About halfway through the cycle I noticed the machine was working awfully hard. When the cycle ended, I opened the lid and—this thing had inflated like a parade balloon. It was wedged against the lid, swollen with water, and looking positively indignant.

 

 I managed to wrestle it out, but it immediately doubled in drama. So, on a bright sunny afternoon, I carried this dripping, overinflated monster out to the deck for some emergency wringing. My grip strength isn’t what it used to be (thanks, dotage), so after a couple of half-hearted squeezes I grabbed it by the corner and gave it a good swing to shake out the excess water.

Big mistake.

 That pillow took flight like a NASA reject. It sailed off the deck in a perfect arc and landed squarely in my neighbor’s yard. I stood there, mouth agape, watching it lie there like a beached whale, leaking water into their grass. Thank heaven they weren’t home. The sheer mortification of anyone possibly witnessing my domestic disaster was enough to make me consider moving.

 I did eventually rescue the runaway pillow (and yes, I washed the other two with extreme caution). But I’m now seriously rethinking my future pillow-washing strategy.

Moral of the story: Spring cleaning is dangerous. Curiosity and large absorbent objects don’t mix. And if you ever see a random European pillow in your yard… you’ll know who to blame.

 This story is part of my series Life on Planet Pattie, about the foibles of life, resilience, and the occasional furniture-moving adventure. It appears the first Monday of every month.

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 Refrigerator Roulette, Round Two

 The Sun’s Sneaky Victory: My “Brilliant” Outdoor Freezer Defrost Debacle 

Secrets of the Abbey by Jean-Luc Bannalec, Reviewed

  

 If, like me, you’ve been following Commissaire Georges Dupin around Brittany for the last decade, you already know the ritual: sun-drenched salt air, endless cups of grand crème, buttery kouign-amann appearing at exactly the right moment, and a murder that somehow ties into Celtic legends, oyster farming, or (in this case) the eerie former abbey on the wild Côte des Légendes. Book eleven, The Secrets of the Abbey, delivers all the expected pleasures, and that, oddly enough, is part of its slight letdown.

The set up is classic Bannalec. An unseasonably warm October finds Dupin grumbling good-naturedly while Second Inspector Kadeg — usually the butt of gentle jokes — suffers a personal tragedy. His aunt dies after a string of ominous “signs of death,” and when Kadeg visits her home in a deconsecrated abbey someone puts him in intensive care. Dupin races to the coast with the team, and soon the abbey’s shadowy corridors are spilling long-buried family secrets, whispered superstitions, and more than one motive for murder.

As always, Bannalec’s Brittany is practically a character in its own right. You’ll smell the sea, taste the crêpes, and come away with a short course in medieval Breton architecture and local death omens whether you meant to or not. Dupin himself remains irresistible: caffeine-powered, impatient with nonsense, secretly sentimental, and still capable of solving a case by sheer stubbornness and a well-timed pastry break.

The mystery is clever, the writing elegant (the translation by Sorcha McDonagh continues to be seamless), and the atmosphere thick enough to cut with one of Dupin’s beloved Opinel knives. Yet — and this is something I’ve never said about a Dupin book before — I found myself setting it down without reluctance. The pacing feels a touch leisurely, even for this deliberately unhurried series, and the central puzzle, while satisfying, lacks the irresistible pull of the best entries.

Longtime fans will still enjoy every page; it’s like revisiting a favorite café where the coffee is still excellent even if this particular blend isn’t the most memorable you’ve had. New readers could start here, but I’d gently nudge them toward Death in Brittany or The Granite Coast Murders for peak Dupin.

In short: another solid, scenic, croissant-scented investigation. Just not the one I’ll be pressing into friends’ hands with quite the same urgency as numbers 1-10.

(And yes, I still want Dupin’s life — minus the attempted murders, of course.) 3 1/2 stars

 You can order your copy here.

 I received an advanced digital copy from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

 As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Kentucky Derby Tablescape in 10 Minutes: Simple, Stylish, and Surprisingly Fun

 

In all my years of setting tables, I had never attempted a Kentucky Derby table before. To be honest, the Kentucky Derby strikes me, as being, well, a bit ridiculous. All that pomp and circumstance, the extravagant hats, the bold fashion statements, the cocktails — wait, never mind, I do like a good cocktail — for what, two minutes? But I digress.

When I spotted an affordable Kentucky Derby tablescape kit on Amazon, I decided it was the perfect excuse to play. Ten minutes later, the table was complete, and I was genuinely delighted with how charming it turned out. I simply pulled out my favorite reds and greens, added a few beloved pieces of Staffordshire “Hunt Scene” china, and the look came together effortlessly. 

I started with the foundation: a soft faux burlap tablecloth layered with two rattan placemats. Next came the lively Bordallo Pinheiro geranium leaf chargers, followed by my red Pier One plates with their pretty beaded edges. On top I stacked matching geranium leaf salad plates and the delightful Hunt Scene appetizer plates. 

 Gold flatware added just the right sparkle, echoing the gleam of those iconic trophies.

  

Glassware is my weakness, so I paired a tall, knobby green Villeroy & Boch water glass with bold red stemware from Villeroy & Boch as well. Tall champagne flutes stood ready for the winner’s toast, and the matching geranium leaf espresso cups and saucers waited for after-dinner coffee.The napkins from Pomegranate tied every color together beautifully. For the centerpiece, I used every element from the Amazon kit—the grass-like runner, miniature horseshoes, tiny horses, and gleaming trophies. I rolled a greenery-and-rose garland into a lush circle, layering it high for dimension, then scattered extra rosebuds, a trophy, and a horse at each place setting. A small stack of whimsical Derby wooden signs (another quick Amazon find) added the final playful touch.

  

The result? A simple yet dressed-to-impress table that feels festive without being fussy. Most of it came from pieces I already owned; only a couple of small Amazon purchases were needed. The best lesson? Look around your own home, rearrange what you love, and you might surprise yourself with something truly special.

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

This post is linked to: Tablescape Thursday

Pan-Seared Filet Mignon with Provolone and Red Wine Mushroom Sauce

 

If you've been following my refrigerator saga (that you can read about here, here, and here) you now know the saga had its [undented] silver lining. Ultimately, there was also a bit of good involved in this debacle. Amid all the shuffling of foods between fridges and freezers, I made a fortuitous discovery: I found…a steak! And not just a steak, but a filet mignon tucked away in the back. I'd ordered a set of four from Omaha Steaks months ago and mistakenly thought I'd eaten them all. Finding that last one felt like striking gold.

 I wanted to do something truly special with it, so I dug through my collection of filet mignon recipes. I landed on an old St. Louis Post-Dispatch clipping for "Filet Zanti" from a local restaurant. The original called for grilling, a white wine mushroom sauce (on beef?), and a topping of mozzarella. I decided to give it a complete makeover. It turned out magnificently.

I swapped the grill for the stovetop for easier weeknight (or company) cooking, switched to red wine for a richer sauce that complements the beef beautifully, and traded the mild mozzarella for bold provolone. The result? Pure heaven on a plate. I caught myself making those involuntary “yummy” sounds with every bite.

 

This revamped dish—quick, elegant, and deeply satisfying—comes together in about 20 minutes from start to finish. It scales beautifully for two, four, or even more, making it perfect for date nights or special occasions. Here's my version: 

Pan-Seared Filet with Provolone and Red Wine Mushroom Sauce

Yield: 1 serving (easily doubled or tripled)

 For the Steak:

Kosher salt

Freshly ground black pepper

1 (8-oz.) filet mignon

1 T. olive oil

About ½ c. Italian bread crumbs

1 T. butter

1 slice provolone cheese

For the Sauce:

½ c. sliced fresh mushrooms

3 T. butter, divided

2 T. red wine

6 T. beef stock

Juice of ½ lemon

1–2 T. flour

Remove the steak from the refrigerator 20 minutes before cooking. Season generously with kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper. Drizzle with olive oil, then roll it in the bread crumbs to coat.

  Heat a sauté pan over medium-high heat until screaming hot (turn on your vent fan and maybe a ceiling fan—trust me on this). Add the butter to the pan, then place the filet in it. Cook to your desired doneness. For medium, I do about 4 minutes per side. Just before removing, top with the provolone slice and let it melt.

While the steak rests, make the sauce: In the same pan (or a separate one), sauté the mushrooms in 1 T. butter for about 1 minute. Add the red wine, beef stock, and lemon juice. Bring to a boil.

Roll the remaining 2 T. butter in flour until well coated, then add it to the sauce. Stir and cook for a few minutes until the sauce thickens nicely.

Plate the filet, spoon the luxurious mushroom sauce over the top, and serve immediately.

 One bite and you'll understand why I was in food bliss. Tender, juicy steak with a crispy breadcrumb crust, melty provolone, and a bright, savory red wine sauce—it's restaurant-quality without the fuss. 

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Homemade Outback Bushman Bread in the Bread Machine – Richer, Darker, and Irresistible

 

Lately, I’ve been baking bread once a week. Keeping my bread machine on the counter has been pure genius. If it lived in a cabinet, I’d probably forget about it entirely. Instead, daily it beckons me, weekly I succumb.

This week I was craving something deep and complex, so I set out to recreate Outback Steakhouse’s legendary Bushman Bread. After scrolling through dozens of recipes, I picked one that felt right and gave it my own flavor-packed upgrades. Regular coffee felt too weak, so I swapped in the cold-brew espresso I always have on hand. I’m not crazy about straight honey, so I split it with real maple syrup for a warmer, more rounded sweetness. And here’s my pro tip: if you’re using cocoa in this bread, reach for black cocoa. It delivers incredible richness and depth that regular cocoa just can’t match.

The result is this gorgeous, dark loaf you see here. Slice it thick and you’ll be making sandwiches that taste like they came straight from your favorite café.

Here’s my adapted bread-machine version of 

 Outback Steakhouse’s Bushman Bread:

 ½ c. evaporated milk
½ c. water
½ c. cold-brewed espresso
2 T. butter, softened
¼ c. honey
¼ c. real maple syrup
1 T. molasses
2¼ c. bread flour
2¼ c. wheat flour
1 T. black cocoa
1 T. sugar
1 t. salt
2¼ t. bread machine yeast

Microwave the evaporated milk for 30 seconds, then pour it into the bread machine pan. Add the water, cold-brew espresso, softened butter, honey, maple syrup, and molasses. 

In a separate bowl, whisk together the bread flour, wheat flour, black cocoa, sugar, and salt. Pour this dry mixture over the wet ingredients in the pan. Make a small well on top and add the yeast. 

Select the “Sweet Bread” cycle with medium crust color and press start.

The finished loaf is a beautiful deep red-brown. (Restaurant versions use caramel coloring for an even darker look—if you want that extra shade, you can add it, but I skipped it and still loved every bite.)

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Discovering Joy in Brittany: A Heartwarming Review of A French Fling for the Golden Gals by Judy Leigh

 

Sixty-one-year-old Maxine Sweet thought retirement would be the start of a dreamy new chapter with her partner, Russell. But when she arrives home early and catches him in flagrante delicto with a friend, her carefully laid plans shatter in an instant.

Devastated yet determined, Max refuses to mope. When the opportunity arises to spend a glorious month in the sun-drenched coastal town of Plouvannec-Sur-Mer in Brittany, she packs her suitcase and embraces the adventure.

From the moment Max arrives, the irresistible French joie de vivre works its magic. Tempting boulangeries, breathtaking beaches, charming new friends, and some rather fine-looking men of a certain vintage all conspire to remind her that life can begin again at any age. As she heals from heartbreak, rediscovers herself, and opens her heart to new possibilities, Max learns that hope, love, and friendship are always within reach—if you’re brave enough to reach back.

This is the first time I’ve read Judy Leigh, and if her other books are anything like this one, I’ll be happily busy for a very long time. Beautifully written, emotionally rich, and bursting with warmth, A French Fling for the Golden Gals delivers everything you could want: grief and recovery, laughter and love, new friendships, and the courage to start over. It captivated me from the very first page, and I was genuinely sad when it ended—I wanted to stay in Max’s world just a little longer.

  Whether you’re navigating a fresh start, dreaming of your own escape, or simply need a joyful, uplifting story, this book will speak to your heart. Do yourself a favor and pick up a copy—you won’t regret it.

Rating: 5 glorious stars

 You can order a copy here. You won’t regret it.

 Disclaimer: Boldwood Books provided me with an advanced digital copy in exchange for an honest review.

 As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

A Sweet Mother’s Day Table for Two: Brunch, Tea & Springtime Charm

 

This intimate table for two is dressed to perfection for Mother’s Day — whether you’re planning a leisurely brunch with Mom or a delightful afternoon tea. Soft peach tulips on long stems bring gentle spring color to the scene, while the lovely peachy-yellow tulip bowls add a cheerful pop.

  

At the heart of the table sits a charming centerpiece in the form of a floral pitcher vase from Fitz and Floyd’s “Meadow” pattern, surrounded by layers of thoughtful details.

Each place setting begins with a woven placemat base. Salmon-edged chargers from Fitz and Floyd are then topped with a Portmeirion plate from their iconic "Botanic Garden" series. The soft green vine motif around the edge perfectly echoes the greenery in the pitcher. Next come the delicate Amelie Versailles salad plates, crowned with those pretty “Meadow” tulip bowls.

 

Simple Fitz and Floyd everyday beaded white porcelain white appetizer/bread plates (just the right size for rolls and butter) complete the dinnerware. For glassware, the familiar salmon-toned pieces make a reappearance, beautifully contrasted by the soft sage ribbed glasses. Naturally a champagne toast to mom is in order in these Lenox coupe glasses. Sweet cups and saucers are ready for some tea.Every color on the table was inspired by that one beautiful pitcher — a lovely unifying touch.

The flatware is Wallace’s elegant “Napoleon Bee” pattern, with its charming bee detail adding a regal yet whimsical note. Soft sage napkins from Amazon tie everything together beautifully.

And those irresistible little bird’s nests tucked into the bowls? I couldn’t resist them when I spotted them at my local favorite, The White Hare — they’re the perfect spring accent. 

The result is a warm, inviting table that feels both special and personal — exactly the kind of setting that makes Mother’s Day memorable.

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

This post is linked to: Tablescape Thursday