Perils with Pattie: The Great Potting Soil Heist (and Other Adventures in Independent Living)

In my family, the bar for starting a new “tradition” is embarrassingly low. Do something once (especially if it involves me getting my way) and congratulations, it’s now officially on the calendar forever. Last Mother’s Day, number two son, Andrew, came with me to Lowe’s for the annual gardening supply run. Not only did I love the company, but we flew through that store like a well-oiled machine. I pointed, he loaded, and everything I wanted made it into the cart in one glorious sweep. Best of all, I didn’t have to carry a single thing.

A lovely woman shopping by herself spotted Andrew helping me and came right over to sing his praises. Then she went and fetched her husband so he could meet this “excellent son” too. I just stood there beaming. Yes, he really is a good one. (I won’t bore you with the pistol he was as a child—that’s what the white hair is for—but he’s pure comfort in my older years.)

This year I thought I’d be clever and make things even easier on both of us. “Fewer sacks,” I declared, “but bigger ones.” Brilliant, right? We got the job done in good time, Andrew unloaded everything into the garage like the gentleman he is, and as soon as the rain stopped I was itching to get out on the deck and start planting.

That’s when reality tapped me on the shoulder.

I bent down in the garage to grab one of those “convenient” larger sacks of potting soil and suddenly had an epiphany: bigger sacks weigh more. A lot more. My sons are forever telling me, “Mom, just let us know and we’ll come help—don’t try to do it yourself.” Sweet words. But I am not a waiter. I am a doer. So I hoisted that 50-pound bag and started the trek out to the deck.

If you ever watched the old Carol Burnett show and remember Tim Conway’s shuffling old man character, you now have a perfect visual of me. I wasn’t walking so much as scooting, inch by painful inch, doubled over like I had serious gastrointestinal distress. The bag and I moved as one slow, miserable unit. I’m sure the neighbors got quite a show. I can only hope someone was filming it for the neighborhood watch group chat—title it “Elderly Woman vs. Potting Soil: The Final Battle.”

Everything is planted now, and I’ve made a very important note in my gardening journal: stick with the smaller sacks next year. Live and learn, preferably without needing a chiropractor.

I’d love to tell you that all that’s left is to sit back with a glass of iced tea and watch my garden grow into perfection. But any real gardener knows that’s a filthy lie. There will be weeding, watering, fertilizing, pest battles, and the occasional heartbreak when something you babied for weeks suddenly keels over for no reason. All that effort and expense so you can eventually pick a $20 tomato and feel smug about it.

Still… worth every minute. Even the Tim Conway shuffle.

How about you? Got any “labor-saving” ideas that backfired spectacularly this spring? Tell me I’m not the only one turning routine chores into neighborhood entertainment.

You might also enjoy:

WhenSpring Cleaning Goes Full Dick Van Dyke

Clean and Presentable…or so I thought.

A Winter-Weathered Miracle Under the Chair

My Dance with the Devil

 Nothing Is Ever Simple (Featuring a Refrigerator and My — GASP! — Underwear)

 Refrigerator Roulette, Round Two

The Sun’s Sneaky Victory: My “Brilliant” Outdoor Freezer Defrost Debacle

Mixed Feelings on Mary Kay Andrews' "Road Trip": A 3.5-Star Family Saga

 

Mary Kay Andrews is one of my favorite authors, so I was thrilled to receive an ARC of Road Trip. The novel follows estranged sisters Maeve and Therese Dunagin, who are brought back together after the death of their beloved mother, Mary Helen. To settle the estate, they must fulfill her final wish: travel to Ireland together to uncover their unique family history.

 

 What follows is an adventure filled with mystery, romance, and family drama. The story alternates between the present day with Maeve and Therese and the 1920s, focusing on their great-grandmother Kathleen Connor, who immigrated from Ireland to New York under mysterious circumstances. There’s plenty of history, humor, murder, and a dash of romance—elements that should appeal to many readers.

 

 However, unlike Andrews’ other books, I had no problem walking away from this one. Something felt lacking, and I never fully got drawn in. The pacing was uneven: very slow to start, then it picked up a bit, only to slow down again. I found myself skimming sections just to move things along. Die-hard fans of Mary Kay Andrews will probably enjoy Road Trip, but if you’re new to the author, I wouldn’t recommend starting with this one.

 

 Overall, I’d give Road Trip by Mary Kay Andrews 3.5 stars.

 Andrews fans can order a copy here.

 As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

 Thanks to NetGalley, the author and publisher for providing me with an advanced digital copy in exchange for an honest review.

 

Homemade Buttermilk Whole Wheat Bread: Better Than Any Store Loaf

I’ve officially sworn off store-bought bread. The moment I realized loaves could sit on the counter for a month without a speck of mold, I knew they were more science experiment than food.

 

So this week, with some leftover ham calling my name, I pulled out the bread machine and made a batch of wholesome, hearty whole wheat bread. The result? Perfection. It turned my ham sandwiches into something special, enhanced a crisp cucumber salad, and made chicken salad sing. This bread toasts up beautifully with a golden crust and tender crumb, and it’s dangerously good with just a smear of peanut butter for those late-night cravings.

AMB Whole Wheat Bread (1.5 lb loaf)
 
1 c. buttermilk
3 T. butter
2 large eggs
¼ c. real maple syrup
3¼ c. whole wheat flour
¾ t. kosher salt
2 t. active dry yeast 

Microwave the buttermilk and butter together for 45 seconds until warm.

Pour the mixture into the bottom of your bread machine pan.

Add the eggs and maple syrup.

Top with the whole wheat flour, salt, and yeast (keep the yeast away from direct contact with the salt).

Select the 1.5 lb loaf setting and light crust color.

Hit start and enjoy the incredible aroma that fills your kitchen. Fresh, homemade bread really is worth it!

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Overcoming My "Million Dollar" Recipe Skepticism: This Cucumber Salad Won Me Over

 

 

There are some phrases that make me roll my eyes and want to bolt in the opposite direction.  Case in point: anything dubbed “red velvet” is an instant no-go—I'm out the door before you can say “cream cheese frosting.” And don't get me started on the endless parade of “million dollar” recipes flooding the internet. What is it with that over-the-top hype? It feels like every dip, casserole, or salad is suddenly worth a fortune.

But here's the thing: spring is teasing us with warmer days (we hit the upper 80s last week!), and my garden is waking up. My chives are already poking through the soil, sparking that familiar itch to plant and dream about the harvest ahead. Cucumbers are always my star performer—they're a breeze to grow, produce like crazy, and I can't get enough of them. Over the years, I've whipped up every cucumber concoction imaginable: pickles, tzatziki, gazpacho, you name it.

Then, against my better judgment, I caved and tried this so-called “Million Dollar Cucumber Salad.” The name screamed gimmick, but curiosity (and a bumper crop in mind) won out. And wow, was I wrong to doubt it—this salad is fresh, crunchy, and packed with flavor that screams summer. It will undoubtedly become my go-to for potlucks, quick lunches, or just snacking straight from the bowl. Trust me, if it converted a skeptic like me, it'll win you over too.    

Million Dollar Cucumber Salad

2 English cucumbers, sliced into ¼” rounds
½ t. garlic powder
½ t. dried dill
Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

Pinch of cayenne
2 green onions, chopped
1/3 c. chopped, cooked bacon
½ c. ranch salad dressing
½ c. shredded sharp Cheddar cheese

In a large bowl, toss the sliced cucumbers with garlic powder, dill, salt, and pepper until evenly coated. 

Add the chopped green onions, bacon bits, and ranch dressing. Give it a good mix to combine everything. 

Sprinkle in the shredded Cheddar cheese and toss one final time for that perfect cheesy finish. 
Serve it up immediately for maximum crunch and freshness—enjoy!

This salad is ridiculously simple, comes together in minutes, and disappears just as fast. Whether you're prepping for garden season or just craving something light and zesty, give it a whirl. Who knows? It might just become your new “million dollar” favorite.

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

 

Tuscan Cream Chicken & Potatoes: The Easiest One-Pot Dinner You’ll Ever Make

 

This past week, my deck garden took center stage. Hauling bags of soil and planting everything left me utterly exhausted, so cooking was the last thing on my mind. I needed something quick, effortless, and completely crockpot-friendly. I dug out an old favorite from the 1970s called Angel Chicken and decided to make it one morning before heading outside. Problem: the chicken breasts were still rock-hard in the freezer. “What the heck,” I thought, and tossed them straight into the slow cooker. I mixed up the Italian dressing packet, butter, chive-and-onion cream cheese, and cream of mushroom soup, poured it over the frozen chicken, and walked away.

Hours later, the house was filled with the most incredible savory aroma. By dinnertime I was too tired to even cook rice or noodles, so I raided the freezer and fridge instead. In went a bag of my pre-blanched Cipolline onions, a handful of quartered button mushrooms, and six halved Ruby Gold potatoes. Everything went right on top of the simmering chicken for a true one-pot meal.

That first bite, curled up on the couch with Stanley by my side and baseball on TV, was pure bliss. The chicken was incredibly tender and perfectly seasoned, the potatoes melted like butter, and the onions and mushrooms were beautifully caramelized. I immediately renamed it Tuscan Cream Chicken & Potatoes.

This is the ultimate stress-free dinner for the busy days ahead. It’s comforting enough for everyday or family movie nights, yet special enough to serve when friends come over for an evening of baseball.

Set it and forget it—you’ll love every bite. 

Tuscan Cream Chicken & Potatoes

1½ lbs. boneless chicken breasts (about 3)

1 envelope Italian dressing mix

½ stick (4 T.) unsalted butter

1 (8-oz) carton cream cheese with chives and onions

1 10.5-oz. can cream of mushroom soup

6 peeled Melissa’s Cipolline onions (or 1 medium yellow onion, quartered)

6 large button mushrooms, quartered

6 Melissa's Ruby Gold Potatoes, scrubbed and halved

 Place chicken in the slow cooker. Combine the Italian dressing mix, butter, cream cheese, and mushroom soup; pour over the chicken. Cook on low for 7 hours. Add the onions, mushrooms, and potatoes. Continue cooking on low for an additional 45–60 minutes, until vegetables are tender. Serve directly from the pot and enjoy this effortless, flavor-packed meal!

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.


 

Old Girls Go Off the Rails by Maddie Please: Feel-Good Fiction at Its Best

 

If you’re craving a warm, uplifting read that feels like a sun-drenched escape with your favorite friends, Old Girls Go Off the Rails by Maddie Please is pure joy on a page.

 When Lizzie Stevens was eighteen, her best friends Harriet and Anna headed off on a dreamy interrailing adventure across Europe while she stayed behind, stuck in a sensible bank job and an ordinary life. Decades later, at sixty-four and freshly divorced from a painfully dull husband, Lizzie gets the chance to rewrite her story. Unexpectedly reunited with her old school friends, she declares: this time, she’s getting on the train.

What follows is a gloriously chaotic rail trip from Paris to Venice and then along the sparkling Croatian coast. The three women are older, wiser (well, mostly), and far less flexible than they were in their teens, but they’re determined to make up for lost time. Expect plenty of laughter, questionable decisions, sore feet, and the kind of heartfelt conversations that only happen when you’ve known someone for forty-plus years.

Of course, it’s not all smooth sailing. Old resentments bubble up, secrets come to light, and the friends don’t always see eye to eye. Yet through every argument and every stunning sunset, their deep affection for one another shines through. And then there’s the mysterious “Mr Grumpy” who keeps popping up wherever they go… Is he following them? You’ll have to read to find out!

Maddie Please has created three wonderfully real, flawed, and lovable heroines. Lizzie especially stole my heart — watching her finally step into the life she always wanted was genuinely uplifting. This book is funny, tender, life-affirming, and full of second chances. It’s the perfect reminder that it’s never too late to chase adventure, rekindle friendships, or even find a little holiday romance.

If you love feel-good stories about women rediscovering themselves later in life, pack your bags (and your sense of humor) and jump on this train. You won’t regret it.

 You can order a copy here.

Thanks to NetGalley, the author and publisher for providing me with an advanced digital copy in exchange for an honest review. 

 As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Boho Jungle Chic Tablescape

Some pieces just make you smile the second you see them. For me, it’s this pair of vintage Italian ceramic monkeys I inherited from my mom nearly fifty years after she brought them home. Glazed a creamy white with the sweetest little faces and curly tails, they’re stamped simply “Italy” on the bottom. They’ve lived on bookshelves as bookends, perched on mantels, and now as the centerpiece of my cozy little brunch table for two.

 

I wanted the whole setting to feel like a sun-drenched jungle brunch that somehow stayed elegant. Artificial palm leaves serve as oversized placemats, layered over a faux burlap tablecloth and a tone-on-tone boho woven runner with playful fringe. The beige cloth napkins from PurpleEssences add that soft, natural texture I love.

  

The black square dinner plates act as a dramatic base for the 9-inch Fitz and Floyd “Manhattan Garden” salad plates. Those salad plates are pure joy—raised dimensional leaves in shades of green on a creamy beige ground, finished with a delicate braided rim. They make every dish look like it belongs in a garden. 

 My beloved Juliska “Little Monkey” Petit Singe Whitewash mugs (retired pattern, now shockingly expensive on replacement sites) sit ready for coffee or tea. Each one has the cutest embossed baby monkey peeking out—talk about tableware that makes you grin! 

For glassware, I mixed Mikasa “Park Lane” crystal wine glasses with amber stemmed water glasses that pop beautifully against all the greens and whites. 

 

Cordless black table lamps on either side of the monkeys cast a soft, flattering glow, while the rustic Creative Co-Op Stoneware, Reactive Glaze Pitcher behind them holds a faux candle and faux grasses for that extra layer of romantic, flicker-free light.

 

The monkeys themselves sit front and center, one with his tail curled, the other looking sweetly curious, as if they’re waiting for my guest to arrive. Every time I walk past the table I catch myself smiling. That’s the magic of a tablescape done right—it turns an ordinary meal into something memorable and turns inherited treasures into new family stories. 

 

What vintage or sentimental piece do you love pulling out for your own table? I’d love to hear in the comments! 

 

By the way, if the monkeys look familiar it’s because I have used them in the past in this "A Night in the Tropics" Tablescape and in the Jungle Nights Tablescape. I think it’s important to get as much joy out of our beloved things as possible. 

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

This post is linked to: Tablescape Thursday